Karate High SchoolEyeball Records

Karate High School

Hey folks, this is Paul from Karate High School.

What you�re about to read is what bands call a �bio,� a one-page sales pitch that will typically feed you a bunch of nonsense about how cool and hip we are. If we�re lucky, we�ll come across as legitimate music artists, and you�ll be enticed to either purchase our music and/or come see us perform live. Normally, I would write this pitch in the typical third-person format, filling the page with trite phrases such as, �Karate High School�s new album will astound you with it�s Sasquatch-sized melodies and war-starting, crushing guitars! All the trendy zines say that if you buy it, your Cool-O-Meter will be raised 13 points, and you will instantly become 46% more attractive to the opposite sex!� Oh, the joys of bullshit hyperbole.

I�m supposed to talk about the sound of the band, and tell you what makes these songs different than anything you�ve heard before. But c�mon, let�s face it: there are no original sounds anymore. Everything has already been done. The Beatles already wrote every great song many years before I was born. I�ll never write a Hey Jude. Heck, I�ll never write a Yellow Submarine. The only thing I can do is put as much honesty and creativity into the songs that I can, and hope that they connect with you. With that said, there�s a good chance that we�re not metal enough for you. There is also a good chance that we�re not indie enough for you. I simply write what I enjoy listening to, and if that means that there is a techno polka song next to a blistering hXc breakdown, then that�s what makes the record.

And speaking of records, Karate High School has a new one called Invaders, and it will be released through Eyeball Records on May 19th, 2009. Invaders is a record about life, love, destiny, self-discovery, accomplishments, disappointments, Heaven, Hell, dreams, reality, hope, realizing it�s never too late to follow your heart, and finding beauty and strength in the most peculiar of places. If there�s one theme that keeps coming back throughout the record, it�s that It�s Okay To Be Yourself. I fought with this concept for a long time, and I still do. There is simply too much media telling you how to look, how to act, and selling you answers to your problems that it�s hard to wade through the bullshit and find something real. If you feel this way too, then hey, this record is for you.

I wrote and recorded most of this record in my old bedroom at my mother�s house. No high-priced studio. No big-name producer with fantastic street cred. No money. Aaron played drums. Geoff played guitar. And I played bass, keyboards, and sang. The only thing I had was a minimal amount of recording gear and an overwhelming need to use music as a way to process life experiences, express them, and gain some type of understanding of What The Hell I�m Doing Here. And yes, I am fully aware of how disgustingly pretentious and self-indulgent that sounds. But what can I say? I�m writing this on my laptop at Starbucks while nursing a Venti Decaf White Mocha With Extra Foam, and my thick rimmed glasses and black beret got the best of me. But I digress.

Bottom line: you�re going to love this record. You�re going to cuddle up with it at night and it�s going to give you a back massage while whispering in your ear how hot you are. Then, it�s going to get up early, make you breakfast, wash the dishes, and grind all your Warcraft characters up to Level 80. You�ll be entering a new, exciting relationship. Except, at the end of this relationship, you won�t come home from work to find Invaders in bed with another dude, wearing black socks and a leather mask with a zipper over it�s mouth. This record is loyal, and it wants to love you. You simply have to give it a chance.

Paul McGuire / Karate High School

Links

• www.myspace.com/karatehighschool